My six-year-old daughter, Zoe, taught me a love lesson exactly one year ago today. After she was tucked in for the night, she padded out of her room – one bare foot and one slipper-socked foot. I tensed, annoyed the finish line to my day was extended.
Zoe held up the partner slipper sock in one hand and a gray pom-pom in the other. The slipper had (past tense) a pair of dangly gray pom-poms attached at the top which I was preparing to mentally curse. She wanted me to fix it.
Yeah sure, kid. No problem. I’ll get right on it. Oh yeah, and by the way, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN BED! I choked back the destructive that wanted to spew and accepted the extended slipper sock and offending gray pom-pom. I made an adequate effort to examine them (come on, that deserved a gold star right there), but I let her know it wasn’t going to get fixed that night, even IF it was fixable. She was, predictably, disappointed.
I looked down at the small mass of gray fibers coming loose in my hand. I’d wait until she went back to bed, then I’d just throw this fraying mess out. That’s when I heard her earnest question,
“Do you think you can fix it?”
My thoughts screeched to a halt. Fix it? I didn’t want to try, honestly. The whole thing was silly. It was a gray pom-pom for crying out loud, not a broken limb, or a break-up with a boyfriend, or a life-or-death matter, not even a blip on the radar of important…to me.
But it obviously meant something to her. Which awoke the larger issue. When she’s grown, will she remember me as the mom who shoved aside things important to her? Or will she remember me as the mom who cared so much that even outlandish details of her life were precious to me? I sighed.
“Couldn’t you sew it back on?” Zoe offered the most helpful suggestion she knew.
It was just a mass of gray fibers making a mess on my lap, and it was all kinds of unimportant and…it mattered. Because it was really about how well I chose to love my daughter. I sighed again.
“Yes, I can probably sew it on,” I admitted. I watched as Zoe, with both feet now in one slipper sock, hopped her way happily back to bed. Crazy girl. This mothering thing…yeah.
So I did the hard love thing, got my rear off the couch, and rummaged through craft supplies, shaking my head. Was I actually comparing colors of gray thread? Who cares?
My daughter cared.
Back on the couch, I stitched the fraying mess – and realized I was actually stitching up something far more significant. With each pass of the needle, I wondered Is this what real love does? Stitches things, people, back together? Reconnects the disconnected? Takes the time to do crazy for the sake of demonstrating love?
I glanced up at the crosses, just small hot-glued branches, hanging over our fireplace and the heart lights I’d strung around the mantel. The cross, a symbol of the most ridiculous love ever. And hearts connected together because of it. Why would God send His Son to die for me, when I’m so quick to replace Him with a barrage of lesser worthy things? Why would His grace welcome me, after I’ve taste-tested His love and experienced He is good, and somehow still find my heart so quick to wander? The whole thing is utterly ridiculous.
And utterly fitting; tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.
I tied off a knot and finished the small thing required of me. It didn’t seem nearly so costly anymore. The interruption a disguised opportunity to participate in something much larger than irritating gray pom-poms. Any investment of love, no matter how small, is really part of something big; because God IS love. I’m slow to see, slow to look up. But thank God, I didn’t completely botch this. (Lord knows how many other times I have!)
May this Valentine’s Day bring a fresh awareness of how much God loves you. Romans 5 is an amazing chapter to reflect on, if you get the chance today. But the verse below from John is a good summary.
Yes, God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him would not be lost but have eternal life. John 3:16 ERV
Oh, often do I want to dismiss what I also judge as their small issues. Thank you for the reminder that those are big issues to them and opportunities affirm my love for my daughters.
I’m right with you, Maureen! I’m prone to forget. I found a pillow with a saying that reminds me to “Enjoy the little things in life, for someday you will realize they were the big things.” I think of my kids as the “little things” growing into “big things.” So glad we have each other’s friendship through this parenting journey!
Exactly what I needed this morning! I struggled with this a lot, always have had. That is the precious memories, the moments with her babies that make life so worthwhile.
This very subject has been heavy on my heart for a while. What a beautiful writer you are. I’m so glad you took the time with your daughter.
Thank you for posting this Pearl. You are a treasure.
Kathleen, so grateful God encouraged you through this! From the stories you share, I imagine you to be a devoted lioness of a mama protecting and loving on her kids like crazy. A good example. You are a priceless gift. 🙂
I kid you not, this very topic was on my mind this morning. Talk about timing! Thank you for your post and you transparency. As always, I come away from your writing encouraged. 🙂
Melissa, I find this a recurring theme in parenting. So grateful we have a perfect Father parenting us! And grateful we can accompany each other, if only in prayer, on this wild parenting adventure! Thank you for your kind remarks!
Amen to that! It is a wild adventure, isn’t it?
It’s in those small things that our kids see our love isn’t it? Thanks for the wonderful reminder, Pearl. You’re good Mama.
Hulda, thank you for the encouragement. My mom always tells me, “We leave both our successes and failures behind us and start each day new.”
This is a beautiful post, Pearl. Thank you. It meant a lot to me tonight. I’ve been feeling stretched thin.
Catie, so glad this post met you where you’re at. Thank you for your sweet words and praying you’re given everything you need to navigate those thin places.
Thank you Pearl for reminding me how many times I ask God to do something for me, like find something I misplaced. What a small insignificant thing that must be to God, but I can’t tell you how many times I have been able to walk right to after asking. Little things matter to both big kids and little kids 🙂
They sure do! I’m so grateful with you, Polly, that God cares about all the details of our lives.
Lovely story!
Your post came right to my inbox. It worked!
Diane, glad it worked! So happy to see you on the subscriber list. 🙂 Now to get the comments/responses figured out…